Maybe I should hide behind the koala for protection.
While we're at it, could you slap me in the face?
No. What are you, a twit?
- Ignore him. - Don't bother! I'm leaving.
- You're weird. - Run for your lives!
It's a lion with moral issues!
And I've had it with you too!
Thanks a lot for wrecking my day!
Teensy question.
Or more like a... a sort of a query meets a statement.
That hyrax back there?
It was sort of like you couldn't eat him.
Yeah, and what about those dogs? There was no munching there, either.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're...
- A vegetarian? - Nope.
- That's not what I was going to say. - You were going to say...
- It's almost like... - You're not from...
The wild?
Well, you're right. I'm not from the wild.
What?
I'm just a phony.
Truth is I can't protect you out here.
Please just go back to the boat.
I've got to find my son.
Tell me we're not in a dangerous jungle with an 8-inch squirrel protecting us.
Actually, I'm nine inches, but other than that, yes.
So that means...
We are going to die!
Hey, guys! Guys!
Will the three of you calm down?
How could he lie to us?
- We're his best friends. - Sure.
Maybe he lied 'cause he didn't want to tell us the truth.
OK, yeah, whatever. Whatever.
Let's just go back to the boat, then.
The fierce, the proud, the wild... Rubbish!
But wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait! Where you goin'?
Stop right there! Stop!
Bridget, if you go, I'm...
I'm breaking up with you.
We were never going out in the first place.
Then we're taking a break.
- Nigel! - All right!
Hey, listen!
I know you're scared. But at least we got each other.
Sammy's got nobody. He's out there all alone.
And... so is Ryan.
OK, OK, focus, Samson.
He's got to be out there somewhere. You'll find him.
I mean, how big can this place be, anyway?
Ryan!
Hey there, little fella. You're lost too, huh?
You remind me of my buddy back home.
A bloodthirsty monster!
Where? Where?
He's a killer! Get away from my baby!
Calm down, lady!
Won't anyone save my baby?
Bye-bye.
Ryan! Ryan!
Sammy!
I wasn't meant for the wild.
I was made to nibble and be elegant
and to appear in children's books as the letter G.
Come on, this isn't scary, is it?
It's just leaves and vines and...
Oh, that's my foot.
Nigel, keep a lookout back there.
- You too, Larry! - Okeydokey.
Oh, I see. All right, OK, yeah.
You're giving me the silent treatment. Like I care.
Nigel! I gave you an order.
Would a little "Sir, yes, sir!" kill ya?
Nigel.
That's not funny, Nigel.
- He's gone! We're doomed. - Nigel!
First Ryan, then Samson, and now Nigel!
I do believe in zoos.
- Larry, you're tensing up! - I do, I do, I do.
- Don't panic. I'm in charge. - That's why we're panicking!
I say we fan out and circle.
What are we, peacocks? We don't fan, we run.
Run for your lives, everybody!
Guys, I've got an idea. Why don't we ask them?
It's OK... They, you see, they got hooves.
That means they don't hunt. They graze.
But they're licking their chops.
I'll take the one with the funny knees.
The funny knee?
Benny, no!
Benny?
Get them.
Just, hey, back off. I'm sorry,
I'm not that kind of koala bear.
Right.
Excuse me? Hello? Terribly sorry to bother you,
but do you speak koala? Sprechen Sie koala?
Right.
Could you possibly not go towards the big smoking thing?
G'day, mate G'day, mate
What a strange place for a party.
Very good, very organized.
Can I use your toilet?
I'm having a
Really nice day Really nice day
I'm having a
Really nice day Really nice day
- Why don't you all - Tickle away, tickle away
They're frighteningly horrible monster beasts...
...but they're not bad dancers.
I'm so cuddly I like you
Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.
- I'm having a - Really nice day
Oh, no!
Tickle away Tickle away
I'm so cuddly, I like you Good day
- What is that? - I am Kazar.
Leader. Prophet.
Choreographer.
And with your help... carnivore!
No! Don't kill me! I've had such a weird life!
This is not fair.
Oh, I get it. A yoga retreat.
Ryan!
You can do this. Use your instincts.
Follow your instincts.
Use your instincts.
OK.
Down this way.
This way.
A lion cub.
We must tell Kazar.
- It's my turn to tell him. - You got to last time.
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did!
Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've got to run.
Koalas are very busy bees.
If I could... I'll just buzz along to the door...
For centuries, we've watched our brethren
perish at the claw of the lion.
Today, we put our hooves down.
No longer will we dwell at the bottom of the food chain.
Well, yes. I should say so.
There were those who doubted that you'd arrive to lead us.
But I always believed in the Omen.
The Omen! Right. Remind me again?
Sent down by the gods years ago...
Oh, no! Not you!
I'm so cuddly! I like you!
Oh, Great Him,
you must lead us in our transformation from prey...
...to predator.
Hold it. I am the Great Him?
- The Great Him? - Him.
So this is all your fault! That's it! You!
- Kazar! - Kazar! Don't listen to him!
- Kazar! Over here! - Kazar! Over here!
How dare you interrupt my audience with the Great Him!
But... but we found a lion cub!
- You did? - Was he with a big lion?
With big hair? Well, a mullet, really.
Oh, Great Him, you brought two lions with you?
Well, like any Great Him,
I travel with an entourage.
Worry not, Your Himness, I shall have Blag bring the lions here.
And he better not screw this up, like you screwed up my dance number!
I lost count for one verse.
Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.
Why do we even bother rehearsing?
A good chorus line is so hard to put together.
Take to the skies!
We're taking! We're taking!
- Find them! - Yes, sir.
Bring us those lions!
The gods celebrate the fulfillment of the prophecy.
We stamp our hooves
in praise of the Great Him!
Holy moly!
Holy moly Holy moly
You are our king!
Looky, looky who's there.
Surprise!
No!
Sorry we're late for dinner!
That's pathetic!
Get off!
- That didn't hurt! - Stop!
- Ryan! - No!
I'm coming, son!
Dad?
- Help! - Let's scram!
- Ryan! - What are you doing here?
- I can't believe it! I found you. - How'd you find me?
Are you all right? Are you hurt?
- Your paw. - I got trapped in that box.
It's OK, son.
And then I escaped, and I ran into the jungle...
...then those vultures came and tried to kill me.
You wouldn't have been scared. I was.
- I have to tell you something. - What?
Listen.
- Get 'em, Dad! - Run!
Run!
Dad, you should be chasing them!
- Like you used to! - Those were just stories!
But now's your chance to show me for real!
This way!
- Dad? What's goin' on? - Just get up into that tree!
- I think we lost them. - What's the deal?
They're just a bunch of wimpy donkeys!
You could kick their rumps!
- Ryan, I can't fight them. - You donkey-chickens! Get back here!
Ryan! I can't fight them.
What do you mean?
I was young...
...still just a cub.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Children of all ages.
Samson! Swallow that fear and stand tall!
Witness the greatest day in our young lion's life!
The day he discovers his roar!
Dad, I can't do it!
Now, go!
Listen as Samson unleashes a roar so mighty,
it launches a wildebeest clear off the savannah!
Samson! Dig deep!
I should have known.
If you'd been born in the wild, you'd know how to roar.
Dad?
Dad! Dad!
Please!
Dad.
When they shipped me to the zoo, I never wanted anyone to know
where I came from. Especially those closest to me.
I should have told you sooner.
But... all those stories you tell?
I'm so sorry, Ryan.
Everything you told me was a lie?
- Dad! - Hang on, son.
Help!
Ryan!
Ryan! Run!
Not so fast, Tigger.
Dad!
Ryan!
Dad!
- Help! - Ryan.
Help! Dad!
- Ryan. - Dad! Help me!
What?
Wait! What? What? Wait!
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Get off me!
What is goin' on here?
- Stinky does not speak. - It rolls like a little ball.
Wait. You guys think I'm a?
- Achtung, Stinky! - Less talk, more roll.
- Ja. - Roll! Roll!
What the? Hey!
Rolling the dung is good for tight buns!
I'll give you something to roll about!
It's a good thing Bridget didn't see that!
Bridget? Larry! They're gone.
I gotta find them!
No! I gotta find Samson first!
No! First...
Sam. Sam!
Bridget! Larry!
Oh, Ryan! You're alive!
Good to see you guys.
- Where's my hug? - Larry.
- There it is. - It's good to see you too.
What are you guys doing here?
We came here with your father to find you.
And he's probably out there right now lookin' for us.
I wish he were.
But some of these wildebeests pushed him off a cliff.
- What? - What?
I don't think he made it. I don't see how he could.
Oh, Ryan.
I'm sorry I got you into this.
Kazar, I think you'll be very pleased with what I brought you.
What's this? Where's the other lion?
Right. Well, I was gonna tell you, there was this cliff and...
Why are you looking at me like that?
That's twice you've been out of step today, Blag!
You klutz.
You know we can't ascend to the top of the food chain
until we eat a lion!
Well, at least there'll be enough for my ascension.
What about the rest of us?
Step-kick, pivot-kick!
Ouch! I twisted a hoof!
You work and you work. Then they break your heart.
- There goes my career! - Prepare the sacrifices!
Why did I let him go off by himself?
He couldn't catch a cold, much less his own lunch.
Bet I could catch you.
Please.
My natural predator is fuel inject... What?
I knew you weren't really gone. I knew it!
Come on, I knew it! We're still buddies, right?
I lost Ryan.
There were too many. They just took him.
Who? Who took him?
- Wildebeests. - The freaks with the hooves!
They got Larry and Bridget too.
Couldn't fight, couldn't...
Come on, Sam. You're a lion.
You come from a long line of kings.
Yeah, maybe you're not from the wild.
But fighting's in your blood!
No. I'll never be a real lion.
Wrong! You are a real lion.
Doesn't matter where you're from:
Zoo, jungle, goldfish bowl.
It's what's in here.
That determines who you are!
At least, that's what you always told your son.
Now he's out there, Sammy,
and he needs you.
Who else is gonna teach him how to roar?
That's it, Sammy.
That's it.
Let's go find my son... and my friends.
Yeah! Nothing's gonna stop us!
Except that we have no idea where we're going!
Follow your instincts.
- What is that? - My... instincts?
- Benny? - You're almost there.
That settles it, then.
My mother definitely drank pool water when she was pregnant with me.
Benny, look.
The freaks with hooves!
Ryan's in there.
You can't just barge in. That's suicide!
- Benny, get out of my way! - Don't listen to the rat.
- Hey, who are you calling a rat? - You, of course.
- You'll give away our position. - I'll have you written up for that!
Fool! You blew our cover! Men! Scatter!
Not so fast!
Look who I got, Sammy. It's your lion instincts.
Who are you guys?
- Our names aren't important. - I'm Cloak. He's Camo.
- We're covert agents. - Why have you been leading me around?
- That's classified. - Top-secret.
- The wildebeests have gone mad. - Cloak.
It's not like I told them our plan is to use them to defeat Kazar's...
Listen, just tell me, did they take my son in there?
- That's need-to-know. - They did.
- They think the koala's a god. - You're the worst covert agent!
Oh, yeah? Then why can I do this? Men!
Hey! No! Stop! Sammy!
- Idiot! That maneuver's confidential. - It's secret. This one's confidential.
- Cloak! - And this one's restricted.
Super-secret. Top-secret. This is ultra-secret!
Enough! No more!
Show 'em the super-top-secret "no more?" Gotcha!
No!
I got an idea.
Who is this Great Him, anyway? I'll take him on.
I'm the Great Her! I'll show Him a thing or two.
I'm from New York City, for Pete's sake.
Oh, my.
You have got to be kidding me.
Nigel, I don't know what you're trying to pull,
- but I will kick your... - Silence!
Why, you little...
Silence, again!
You do not speak to me!
Nigel, what's the deal?
Great Him, shall we prepare the feast?
Yes, we shall! What's on the menu?
Them.
Oh, no.
Eat friends and be god, don't eat friends...
God, friends, god, friends. God, I...
Well, that was subtle.
Prepare the meat fire!
Wait!
We cannot cook them without...
...onion!
Onions. Onions. Onions.
Well, that was fast.
Let the ritual begin.
Move it!
I am so mad at you!
Wait! We also need... hats!
Do we not have the party hats of death?
I've got mine!
And before the feast, we must all...
What the?
...levitate...
...and spin uncontrollably!
And feel a bit sick.
How do I stop this thing?
- Guys. - Benny?
- Look, a squirrel! - Larry!
We've got a plan. Follow me.
- We? - I can fly!
Oh, Great Him, we are humbled by your power.
Be humbled. Only the Great Him can do this!
- Volcanic gas! - Our cover's blown!
Major malfunction! Abandon ship!
- Oh, boy. - Well, about time you got here.
Great Him, it's another miracle!
You've delivered us a real lion!
Blag, your luck has turned.
Thanks to the Great Him, we shall all ascend tonight.
Nigel, we've got to create a distraction.
Hang on a sec!
I've got miracles comin' out my ears!
Ready? Stand back...
...as the Great Me attacks the lion
over 73 times my size!
Dad? My dad's alive! Guys, my dad made it!
- Ryan, no! - Hurry, I got to see him!
Whack, whack, whack!
- Dad! - What? Ryan!
- I planned this. - Ryan, no!
At long last, the cosmic balance has shifted.
- Stay close. - Prey has become predator!
And predator has become prey!
And the hoof finally trumps the claw!
Come on, Dad! Let's show these turkey-jerkies
who's at the top of the food chain!
Let's eat the brat first.
Over my dead body!
Yeah.
Dad!
He's gonna kill Samson if we don't do something!
Why don't we use the secret play?
I know. Shut up, Larry. That's stupid.
No! It's brilliant!
They laughed at me when I spoke of the Omen.
But look who's laughing now!
Little to the left. Yeah. No! Little to the right!
Next floor: bottom of the food chain!
Ding!
Fire!
We gotta find something bigger!
I know where we can find something bigger.
- Ready, Ryan? - Dig deep!
You should have stayed at home.
Now our shrine will become your tomb.
Fire!
Ryan!
I don't typically eat dessert
before the main course!
Get away from my son!
Ryan.
Ryan, are you still with me?
It's OK, Dad. I just want you to know
I'm sorry you didn't have a father like the one I have.
Ryan.
How touching.
But then, last words usually are.
Finish them.
What are you doing?
I command you to attack them, like true predators!
We're tired of pretending to be something we're not.
But most of all, we're tired of you.
Blag. Fine.
I'll kill them myself!
Dad, remember what you always told me in your stories:
Dig deep.
Oh, yeah, baby!
Let's go.
Yeah.
- Come on, let's get out of here! - Get out of here!
And for the record, I've always hated your choreography.
It's so... '80s.
That's right! Run!
Run like the cowardly prey that you are!
I will hunt you down!
Everyone! To the boat!
Top of the food chain, Ma!
Top of the food chain...
I'm so cuddly! I like you! I'm so cuddly! I like you!
I'm so cuddly!
Hurry! We're never gonna make it!
Push, you crazy, hairy monsters! Push!
- Larry, throw it in reverse! - Reverse throwing!
At least I saw the wild before it disappeared.
I can still see it. It's right...
Here. I found my roar.
We both did, son.
You know, Dad, this'll be our first story of Samson and Ryan the Wild.
I don't think anybody's gonna believe it.
Incoming!
I'm so cuddly!
Cuddly! I'm so cuddly!
I know you're cuddly. But can you float?
- I'm having a - Really nice day
Really nice day Really nice day
Step-kick left!
Really nice day
Step-kick right!
- Splendid. - No! Smashing. Hey!
- Stupendous! - Are you guys sure about this?
Operation Snake-Over is now complete.
Hey, look, everyone! I'm a secret agent!
Bridget, I get it. You're more than a tall, lanky goddess.
You're a strong, independent female.
You don't need to be defined by your relationship
- and I, I respect that. - It's about time.
What was that?
Just your daily dose of vitamin Bridget, baby.
Oh, yeah yeah!
Really nice day Really nice day
Look out!
Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.
Yes! Did y'all see that? Check this!
Go, Blag! Go, Blag! Go, Blag!
Hey, Blag.
- No parkin' on the dance floor. - Parkin'?
Dad?
Make some room there, big guy!
Really nice day Really, really nice day
Yeah!
Pretty crazy, right? Pretty wild!
Well, technically, it...
It's awesome.
Yes, right.
- I was just gonna say that. - Come on! Everyone!
This is gonna be a long ride home.
I'm havin' a
Really nice day Really nice day, really nice day
- I'm having a - I'm so cuddly, I like you
G'day
What are you doing this for? What, do you think it's funny?
Just get out.
Sorry about that, everybody. Sorry.
Hello.
Do carry on.
Come on!
All right, everybody exit in an orderly...
All right, single file! Keep it...
I seem to do a lot of falling and screaming in this adventure.